cherchez la femme

[consecrates]

Comments

[consecrates]

You can't.
Because I like you better in dark colors, that's what.
Even though I know it's probably encouraging you to brood.

[ and honestly, imagining the hair curl on him is making her burst out in terrible laughter. ]

[untie]

[ dick smiles. broodily, of course. ]

What would you do if I did wear bright colors?

[consecrates]

I will take a photo for posterity and make sure I have a copy of it saved somewhere.
Just in case it doesn't happen again and you need me to remind you about it.

[untie]

Do you have a Dick album on your phone?

[consecrates]

[ it's really only a matter of time, with a name like his ]

You know, I actually do.
And it's a pretty large and extensive collection.
Wanna see it?

[untie]

[ how many of those photos are actually not of dick grayson? stop taking the piss out of him! ]

Is my selfie in there?

[consecrates]

[ they're all his photos, c'mon. whatever selfie or candid shot she could manage to take with him, anyway. she's not like him, wow. ]

Don't you want to find out for yourself?

[untie]

[ she really, really likes him. ]

Tonight? You find out if my chest and abs are impressive, and I get to see your Dick album.

We're going to need appropriate food. Italian? Chinese? Nearest fast food restaurant?

[ this is going to make it into their wedding vows, isn't it? ]

[consecrates]

[ ssh, she's still in the third stage of bargaining. ]

What's the nearest fast food restaurant?

Oh, and just a fair warning: I hope you prepare yourself to get blown away by the album's contents as well.

[ sharing is caring is def going to be a part of their wedding vows. ]

[untie]

[ DAVINA CLAIRE LIKES — ]

McDonald's. Starbucks. Pizza Hut. Subway. Really prized places. 5 star reviews promise it's like cooking in your own home.

Thanks for the warning. I'll make sure I'm very prepared, and if I'm not, at least I have your shoulder to cry on.

[consecrates]

[ the stage of depression hasn't set in yet, hold on ]

Right, well.
I'm not sure how your heart can endure all of those great places so I'll drop by the supermarket and pick up a few items instead.

I'll get you a box of Kleenex too, just in case.

[untie]

[ ftr, her future husband can cook. he just hasn't had time due to cosplaying at night. don't let this dock a point! ]

That's very considerate of you, thank you. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you.

Where are you planning on taking these few items? Your place? Mine?

[consecrates]

[ he needs to quit while he's ahead. ]

You would probably be living a sullen, moody life, lacking colour and happiness.
Like even more sullen and moody than right now.

How functional is your kitchen? Honest question.

[untie]

The cupboard doors open. I think.

[ and he knows what a cupboard is!

in all seriousness, though: ]

I know how to use the stove, and you'll find there's some leftovers that prove that I can cook.

[consecrates]

[ she has trust issues and sometimes, he's the reason for those issues. ]

My kitchen it is, then.
I don't want to accidentally set your place on fire because we're both not sure which stuff works and which doesn't.

I guess I don't have to ask if you drink, right?
I mean, you're a detective and this is like a given.

[untie]

[ HIS KITCHEN WORKS. just wait for the second date. it'll blow her mind how good he looks working a kitchen. ]

I drink. I know, it's a stereotype, but I've come to accept it.

So, am I allowed to touch anything in your kitchen or am I expected to the stand to the side and look pretty?

[consecrates]

[ she needs proof first that it works ]

I only have beer so if you want something fancier, you'll have to bring it yourself.

And as long as you're aware that you're not supposed to run around while carrying a knife, then I suppose you're allowed to help.

[untie]

Wait. You mean, I don't run around while carrying a knife? I can't believe I've been doing this all wrong.

[consecrates]

Isn't this taught at the police academy?
Or whatever school detectives go to.

[untie]

I might've skipped that day.

[ amongst many other things, including not knowing how to not brood. ]

It's a good thing I have you to teach me, and just in the nick of time.

[consecrates]

[ you'd think batdad sent him to the best schools with his money ]

Nick of time, as in you thankfully haven't stabbed anyone yet while on duty?

[untie]

I came close once, but my quick reflexes saved the day. It's why I'm the number one detective in the precinct.

[ robin, on the other hand ... never invite that guy over to cook. ]

You'll be safe. I promise.

[consecrates]

Is this self-proclaimed or was there a survey for this rank?

And I'm not too worried about my safety.
I can defend myself from crazy knife-wielding dates if I need to.

[ can she really stop robin from inviting himself over? really? ]

[untie]

[ dick and robin are a packaged deal, sorry to say. ]

You doubt I'd be the number one detective in the precinct? Ouch. That stings.

[consecrates]

[ will he ever introduce him to her, is the question. ]

I thought the number one detective would be the friendliest and most approachable of the group, that's all.